Become a Muslim become a hacker

I’m @r3kind1e.

To write my experiences, I made many mental preparations. You may wonder why I struggle to write an introduction about myself. That’s because of the oppressive education system and highly pressured social environment.

First and foremost, let’s talk about the oppressive education system. When I was in primary school, the teacher told us that we should make up our nonexistent good deeds to get higher scores on the exam. When I entered middle school, the teacher told us we should write essays following the questioner’s intention with beautiful words and, more importantly, be politically correct. You may think it’s okay not to do well in one exam. But things are entirely different here. The university entrance examination, the only exam, can directly determine which university we go to. So we must follow the rule, even if it’s unreasonable. Besides, we must bear the extremely long time studying, typically more than 15 hours a day.

Then, let’s talk about the highly pressured social environment. There is a technique that parts our country’s Internet from the Internet. Because of it, we cannot access almost every service, e.g., Google, Twitter, Instagram, Netflix, Youtube, etc. However, the government strictly controlled our country’s Internet. The media only show positive news. People are only allowed to post admired comments for governments. In other words, the public cannot hear the vulnerable groups. Many people who can only access our country’s Internet accept brainwashing information, so their mindset becomes extreme. For example, when it comes down to discussing a topic, they’re only willing to hear the opinion same as themselves. If I come up with other insights, they will bully me online. That’s why I feel so nervous and unsafe writing something about myself.

I don’t know how or dare to write for the above reasons. However, @Rabail rekindles my spirit. She can write fantastic poems. She inspires me that the essence of writing is expressing my thoughts. I have to tell my story bravely to let others know how wonderful I am.

I suffered from poverty for over 15 years and violence for over six years. At that time, I wanted to commit suicide. I thought I did not deserve any beautiful things in the world. And til now, these painful memories still torture me at midnight. However, in this story, I won’t cover these details. I want to tell the story of my natural curiosity and dream of becoming a Muslim hacker.

Curiosity is identifying one-sided information and the desire to find the truth

What is curiosity? It’s an ability to identify one-sided information and the desire to find the truth.

When I was 15 years old, my home had no Internet access. The only way I could get information was from the television. One day, a news report attracted my attention. It’s about the terrorist organization Islamic State. The terrorists killed a reporter. At that time, I came up with many questions. “What is Islamic State? Can it represents Islam?” After some thought, I decided to visit the only mosque in my city to find the answer. Because I couldn’t have a day off from the heavy school tasks, I arranged the visit day during my summer vacation.

It was a Friday afternoon, and the sunshine was lovely. As you can see, I was lucky enough to encounter the Friday prayer. There is no minaret in the mosque. So the Imam manually called Muslims to pray. Then, I saw a scene I would never forget for the rest of my life. Many people come here. They are from different ethnic, with different colors, and even from other countries. However, they obeyed the same form of praying, and it seemed they could understand the same language (Arabic). I was so shocked and thrilled by this scene that I stood there still. After the Friday prayer, I explored the mosque continuously. I found a classroom on the right side of the square. And another Imam would provide courses about basic Islamic knowledge and basic Arabic with the children for free here. The Imam in the classroom is a kind elder. I asked him whether I could study here. Initially, he was slightly surprised but gladly said, “Sure.” The children here welcomed me enthusiastically. And soon, we became good friends. Then, I spent a very temporary but happy week in this little classroom. But, as I said, happiness is fleeting. The start of my real school was the following week, meaning I must return to that hell-like place again.

Before I left, my Imam gave me a surprise. It’s my native language translation Quran. I appreciated his kindness. I found it difficult to understand its contents then because I didn’t have Internet access to search for its meaning. I used a book cover to protect the Quran and hid it on my shelf. I believed I could understand these extraordinary stories one day as I grew up.

“Once you’ve experienced the feeling of faith, you will use the rest of your life to recall and follow it.” This beautiful experience planted a seed in my heart, representing my dream of becoming a Muslim.

You may come up with some questions: “Why don’t I take a shahada so that I can become a Muslim?”, “Why did my Imam appear slightly surprised when I first said I wanted to study with them?”, “Why did I hide the Quran on my shelf?”.

The answer to the first question is subjective. I think I’m not qualified to become a Muslim. I’ve read my native language translation version Quran and decided to start reading the English-translated version Quran. However, building a complete picture of the Quran is hard, and my understanding is incomplete. Besides, I still cannot recite the Quran in Arabic because I find it difficult to pronounce. There are still many things to learn before I take shahada.

The answer to the second question is objective. It’s because of my identity. There are many ethnicities in my country. Though the law says that citizens of our country have the freedom of religious belief, the public thinks only a few ethnicities have the political right to believe in Islam. But I don’t belong to any of them.

The answer to the third question is objective, too. Most comments about Islam on our country’s Internet are negative, ironic, malicious, and insulting. I saw someone who is the same ethnicity as me. He shared his experience of converting to Islam on our country’s social media. Then many people practiced cyber violence against him, calling him a beast and betraying their ancestors. I believe some brave people explain the truth of Islam to the public, but our country’s social media delete their posts. Even worse, our country’s Internet rumors have brainwashed many relatives and loved ones. Though I explain that Islam is peaceful, they are unwilling to believe the truth. So it’s very powerless to live where it is hard to get comprehensive and objective information. People’s mindsets will become narrow and extreme. I have to put protect myself in the first place. Besides, suppose I am documented officially as Muslim, I cannot provide my family with a sure and stable life in our country. That’s the price I need to pay.

For the above reasons, I can only hide my dream of becoming a Muslim in my heart. I should study hard to jump out of the environment I dislike. This belief motivated me to overcome many difficulties. I made it despite the lack of educational resources, extremely high pressure, and brutal competition. I went to the top 100 universities in my country.

Curiosity is a kind of ability to turn the “unknown” into the “known.”

What is curiosity? It’s a kind of ability to turn the “unknown” into the “known.”

I have studied undergraduate for five years. Regarding our people’s point of view, I’m a complete failer. But I want to tell you my five years university story. I majored in English Language and Literature for two years and then changed my major to Computer Science And Technology. It only took me two years to complete my Computer Science And Technology credits. Then I took a gap year to land a Cyber Security internship successfully.

Firstly, let’s discuss the differences between middle school and university. When I was in middle school, many students didn’t study. They smoked, had alcoholism, destroyed public facilities and the property of others, and gang war. And they made fun of bullying other students. I was on their target list because I was poor but intelligent and always at the top of the class. They felt jealous of me. They teased me about my appearance, clothing, and poverty. In the end, they destroyed all my self-esteem. However, the teachers turned a blind eye to them. I had no one to turn to help, so I became learned helplessness. At that time, my only relief was Islam, which saved me from desperation. So when I went to the university, in the beginning, I was afraid to make friends with others. But then, I surprisingly find that my roommates are very friendly and enthusiastic. We went to class, studied, ate, went on journeys together, and discussed in-depth topics at midnight. They are as self-disciplined and excellent as me. Besides, I also admire some professors. They love teaching, are good at academic research, and are concerned about students. I’m thrilled that many people love me and recognize my ability. They heal me and help me become more confident.

Next, let’s talk about why I initially chose English Language and Literature as my major but finally left it.

In 2017, I was admitted to English Language and Literature. Going to university should be happy, but I couldn’t feel like that. In fact, I realized that I didn’t like this major at all. But I was confused. I didn’t know what major I wanted. I lacked the basic knowledge of the social trend because I had been imprisoned in school for 17 years. For me, these majors’ names were just some nonsense symbols. So I chose a major randomly. It just happened to be English Language and Literature.

However, I felt deeply disappointed in the English Language and Literature in the first week of the new term. That’s primarily because of the lack of a language environment. You can’t imagine that there were only two native English speakers in our university. They were volunteers from The Peace Corps and came to our university to teach temporarily. The second reason was ridiculous. It turned out that some English Language and Literature professors couldn’t speak English! The third reason is the old-fashioned teaching method. Our university still uses the rote teaching method of exam-oriented education. The fourth reason was my prediction. New technologies would quickly replace highly repetitive work like translation. It’s proved that my prediction is correct. Until March 20, 2023, OpenAI has created GPT-4 model. It will replace more than 95% of translation work in 5 years.

Our university stipulated that you can only change majors in the second semester of your sophomore year. So while studying English Language and Literature, my daily life was looking forward to the day I could change my major. I fell into nothingness. I even got depressed because of this sense of meaninglessness. You might think my story of changing major is inspirational. To be frank, we could change our majors without any prerequisites. All the efforts I made to change my major were just submitting an application form for changing major.

Then, let’s talk about why I chose Computer Science And Technology and Cyber Security. The reason is pretty simple. I love challenges! I enjoy the feeling of turning the “unknown” into the “known.”

In the second semester of my sophomore year, I changed my major to Computer Science And Technology successfully as I wished. Then, I came to a new class. In the first class meeting of my new class, I met a boy. He is skillful and helpful. He asked me whether I wanted to join him to participate in a CTF competition. Of course, I would. Who can refuse such an enthusiastic classmate? But at that time, I lacked basic computer science knowledge and consequently had no idea about this new form of competition. So, he introduced the basic rules of CTF competition and demonstrated how to hack a lab target. He used the Linux command line utility expertly. He is an incredible hacker! His eyes were shining so bright when he was explaining hacking. “The sparkles of his fire have lighted mountains in one go.” His passion affected me instantly. I decided to devote myself to Cyber Security field. Because this is the most exciting and challenging field, I’ve ever known. He is the first guide to my Cyber Security career, and I appreciate him sincerely. Besides, maybe I fell in love with him. But as time flows, this kind of feeling fades away.

Initially, I indeed encountered some problems with the curriculum. Firstly, the teacher ignored me when arranging the curriculum. So I must desperately search for course resources and grab the limited vacant places. Secondly, I didn’t take basic curriculums, e.g., advanced mathematics, University Physics, circuit principles, etc. To solve this problem, I learned them on MOOC. Thirdly, my schoolwork is too heavy. The curriculum I took was twice as others. Because of the above reasons, I even failed in one curriculum. After changing my majors, I spent most of my time in the classrooms, study rooms, and library. Besides, I utilized my spare time to study the prerequisites of Cyber Security. It’s a pity that during this busy time, I didn’t have much time to spend with my roommates, but we still celebrated each other’s birthdays. I tried hard and met the Computer Science and Technology graduation requirements in two years.

Finally, I want to share my story about taking a gap year to get a Cyber Security internship. I got to know @whale3070 in a technique communication chat group. She inspired me the idea of taking a gap year. From her blog, I learned about her extraordinary experience in starting a career in Cyber Security. She majored in oil painting as an undergraduate. She tried to change her major to Cyber Security during university but failed. So she took a gap year and tried to find as many Cyber Security internships as possible. After graduation, she found a Security Research job at a Cyber Security company. I could learn from her experience to start my career in Cyber Security. So, I consulted her. And I want to share an impressive part of our conversation. I asked her, “Do you think taking a gap year is meaningful?” She answered: “Your life will be so long, and this is only one year.” I considered her advice and made a detailed plan. Then, I asked my parents to support my decision. The reason for my decision was objective. First, my university is geographically remote. The city where it is located has no industry. So I needed to go to other economically developed cities to find internships. Second, for some reason, cities in our country would be locked down unpredictably. Third, there are rare companies in our country that would accept an online internship. But when I negotiated with my parents, I had some troubles. My mother was angry and opposed to me. She said: “How stupid you are! If you do it, the HRs will only think something is wrong with your ability (though this view is entirely wrong). Also, if you graduate a year late, you’ll embarrass me before my relatives (this is her real thoughts).” To be frank, I felt frustrated about her thoughts. And, My father said he would neither support me nor oppose me. Finally, I insisted on taking a gap year because my plan was practical.

During the first half of my gap year, I tried to learn my lative language-based Cyber Security. However, the quality of these tutorials was inferior. These poor tutorials misled me. I followed the wrong way of learning, which wasted a lot of time. In the seventh month, I started summarizing the interview questions and making a resume. At that time, I was highly anxious. I’m not afraid of failure. It’s just a trial. But I’m not too fond of the taunting of relatives who have no sense of boundaries. So, I chatted with @whale3070 again. I learned that she was just about to change jobs, and her new company was looking for interns. So I asked her to recommend my resume to the new company’s interviewer. Within two hours of sending in my resume, the interviewer called me. The interview lasted for an hour, and because I prepared well, the interview process went very smoothly. After the interview, the interviewer spoke highly of my performance. He said: “Who doesn’t like excellent talents?” So, I successfully got the first internship offer in my life. After the interview, I expressed my sincere thanks to @whale3070 for her help. She said: “You don’t need to thank me because you have a strong ability to seize the opportunity when it comes.” She is the second guide in my Cyber Security career. Before I set off for the internship in another city, my father quietly gave me rent and airfare money.

So, I joined this company and became a penetration tester. My responsibility was to thoroughly test my client’s systems to find any and every vulnerability. During the internship, I gained a lot in work, study, and life. In the work aspect, our team leader taught me some methods to handle the project and clients’ relationship. For example, “Not every penetration testing report must have a result.”, “Most of the time, the clients will pay more attention to your attitude.” In the study aspect, I learned the correct method to learn Cyber Security. In life, I met @whale3070 in person, and we became good friends in real life. I also traveled to 4 cities on business and visited a lot of sights. In addition, I achieved some achievements in my work. I received a thank-you letter from a client, three clients highly praised the quality of my penetration testing report, and I also won a third prize for an attack and defensive competition.

After graduation, most of my peers chose to take the postgraduate entrance examination and the civil service entrance examination. Instead, I decided to go to the Middle East to work in Cyber Security and realize my dream of becoming a Muslim hacker. To this end, I am working hard on Cyber Security and English. “There will always be frustrations in life, but I know that the point of living is not to leave behind any regrets.”