Section 2: Start & Have Powerful First Interactions
6. Join Group Conversations
The question that I get asked a lot is how do I join group conversations?
So my first advice to you would be to first analyze and observe the situation.
Because if you see that the group is having a really serious conversation, don’t approach right now.
What you want to do is look for a group that is having, I would say, a light conversation, a conversation where they are having fun or you see and you sense that it’s not something too serious and that you could approach.
So when you have this opportunity, what you should do is just approach.
So you walk there and then you say, Sorry for interrupting.
I know that you are having an interaction, but and then you can either ask a question, introduce yourself or compliment someone.
So.
Hi.
Sorry for interrupting because it’s being polite.
So you say sorry for interrupting.
I know that you are having a conversation.
You show that you know what’s going on, so.
Hi, Sorry for interrupting.
I know that you are having a conversation, but I just wanted to say hi because you look really friendly.
It’s a really great way to open.
And then if you have a group, for example, of 2 or 3 people try to talk to 2 or 3 people when you approach.
You don’t want to just focus on one person and then forget the two other people.
Otherwise, you won’t last really long in that group of people because there is nothing worse than approaching a group of two people and just talking to one person and ignoring the other person.
You know, if you do that, you will see that you won’t be able to stay there very long.
So you approach the group of 2 or 3 people, for example.
So you say, Hi, sorry for interrupting.
I know that you are having a conversation, but I just wanted to say hi.
I just wanted to introduce myself.
My name is Alan.
Or I just wanted to ask you a question because I don’t know a great place to eat sushi.
I don’t know when this place closes.
I would like to ask you if you know when the next event is.
Do you know what food is great at this restaurant?
Basically, any question.
Remember what you say when you approach someone does not really matter when as long as you have great intentions and then you start talking and something that is great, you can ask, How do you know each other?
What brings you here?
And it’s easier, I would say, to approach a group of 2 or 3 people rather than approaching one person that is alone.
Why?
Because then you have more people that can put some fuel in the conversation.
So it’s really a great if you have a group, I would say a small group to approach.
Now, if you have a big group, for example, more than three people, I would say use your common sense.
If you see that you can approach someone and they are all having a conversation together.
You can approach the whole group or you can approach just one person.
But then when you approach, if you approach one person and you talk to this person, don’t forget to just say hi to the other people because you want to be accepted in the group.
Don’t go there to steal someone or to take someone from the group you really want there to share value and to give value have this giving value mentality.
So if you approach a huge group and you just talk to someone, you can introduce yourself to the person that is next to this person.
Don’t ignore the person that is right next to the other person, even if it’s in business, in your relationships.
When you go to a bar, when you go to a club, when you go to a restaurant, it’s just about being polite and you have to include everyone.
It’s really, really important.
So as you can see, approaching a group is not as difficult as it seems.
It can be scary because there are more people.
So if you get rejected, you may say, Oh my God, I was rejected by three people instead of one.
But it’s not the mindset that you should have.
The mindset that you should have is that I just want to approach this group and see what happens.
See if I can get a deal, if I can find a new client, if I can network with them, if I can find a boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever you want.
It’s really easier if you approach a group.
Takeaway
Key Takeaways – Join Group Conversations
- Observe First
- Look for a group that seems relaxed or enjoying a light conversation.
- Avoid interrupting serious or intense discussions.
- Polite, Clear Introduction
- Approach, briefly apologize for interrupting (“Sorry for interrupting, I know you’re talking, but…”).
- Use any of the three openers: ask a question, introduce yourself, or give a compliment.
- Engage Everyone
- If it’s a small group (2–3 people), avoid focusing on just one person.
- Make eye contact around the group, include everyone in the discussion.
- Use Simple Conversation Starters
- Basic questions (“How do you know each other?” “What brings you here?” “Do you know a good sushi place?”) are enough to get things rolling.
- Don’t overthink the “perfect” topic; sincerity and good energy matter more.
- Stay Inclusive & Add Value
- Even in larger groups, greet or acknowledge multiple people, not just one.
- Approach with a “giving” mentality—aim to contribute positively to the group rather than “taking” someone away from it.
- Embrace the Possibilities
- Don’t fear being “rejected by three people instead of one.”
- Approach with curiosity: maybe you’ll form new friendships, find business leads, or create meaningful connections.
Overall, group conversations can be less intimidating if you include everyone politely and keep the vibe positive. Engage the entire group, be genuinely curious, and look for ways to share value.
如何融入群体对话 – 中文要点总结
- 先观察局势
- 找一个氛围轻松、谈话内容不严肃的群体，以免打断严肃讨论时造成尴尬。
- 礼貌且清晰地开场
- 走过去简单道歉打扰一下（“不好意思，打断你们一下……”）。
- 可用三种常见开场方式：问问题、自我介绍、或真诚称赞。
- 兼顾所有人
- 如果是 2~3 人的小群体，不要只对着某一人聊天；要轮流与不同成员互动。
- 若是更大规模的群体，打招呼或眼神接触时尽量覆盖多个人，展现友善。
- 使用简单话题
- 类似“你们怎么认识的？”“你们为什么来这里？”或“这里有没有好吃的寿司店？”等都能自然开启对话。
- 别过度纠结于“完美”话题，真诚和积极的态度更关键。
- 保持包容并带来价值
- 无论规模大小，记得面向群体互动，不要只把一个人“拉走”。
- 用“提供价值”的心态加入谈话：分享资讯、介绍人脉、营造轻松愉快的氛围等。
- 拥抱各种可能性
- 不要害怕被“同时拒绝好几个人”。
- 带着好奇心投入——无论是寻找新客户、认识朋友、还是结识 potential 男女朋友，都有机会从群体中获得意外收获。
总之，只要礼貌地融入对话、关注每个人的感受，并时刻带着积极、分享的心态，就能在群体交流中游刃有余，收获更丰富的人际资源。
