Section 2: Start & Have Powerful First Interactions
5. Winning Mindset For Social Success
So now let’s talk about the mindset that you should have in social interactions.
So I would like to share with you the three step mindset that I have to.
So now let’s talk about the mindset that you should have when you’re interacting with people.
So I would like to share with you the three part mindset that I have when I am interacting with people.
The first mindset that you should have is that you should see everyone as an opportunity not to take care or to take advantage of other people, but see everyone as an opportunity.
See everyone as people who can bring you or who could give you something at a moment in time.
In other words, you can approach someone and you never know what you will get out of this interaction.
So I approach a lot of people and I network with a lot of people.
I give value, I just interact with them and I see people as an opportunity.
And what happens is that I get a lot in return.
For example, I was flying from Rio de Janeiro to Paris and and I was sitting next to someone and it was a French person.
And I started talking to to him and he was a businessperson that was really into self-development.
And it’s really my field.
And he gave me a lot of advices for my business.
And if I wouldn’t have approached him, I would have missed this opportunity.
Another example I was eating, I was on a bank eating.
Then I started talking to the girl next to me and we just exchange a few words and I took her Facebook and that’s it.
Nothing really happened.
But she told me that she lived in Florianopolis in Brazil and nothing really happened.
And then five years later, I decided I wanted to go and live in Florianopolis in Brazil.
So then I just contacted her via Facebook and then she showed me the city.
She showed me everything that there was to do there.
As you can see, you never know the opportunities that people will bring you.
So have an open mind when you are approaching people.
The second part is that you should have a positive mindset about people because if you think that people are stupid and idiots and there are bad people, if you think that in your brain you will project that into them because whatever you think will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So it means that if you think that people are bad and idiots, you will interpret all the behaviors as bad.
And being, I would say, being a total idiot.
So what you want to do is to have a positive mindset that says, Oh, I really want to approach people because they are friendly, open minded, and I can have a great time with them.
Because if you have a positive mindset, you will be able to really connect with these people that will be really positive towards you and sadly.
You won’t be able to connect with people who are mean and who are idiots and who are bad.
So it’s a really great way to have a positive mindset.
The third part of the mindset is that you should have a value giving mentality.
It means that when you approach people, you should be able to give value to them.
It can be by saying something, by giving information, by giving an advice, by just saying something nice, by giving a compliment, or even with your non-verbal with the energy that you have, you can make someone smile, you can make someone feel better just with your energy level.
If you are feeling great and you approach someone, you will be able to make the other person feel great.
So always have this value giving mentality.
When you approach someone at a networking event, just don’t take value.
Don’t just say, Oh, I want to get your money, I want to have you as a client.
You can just say you can even introduce this person to another person.
You can you should try to add as much value as you can to the other person’s life.
When you approach someone in a bar at a restaurant in any situation, and if you adopt this mindset, you will see how powerful it is and how it will really help you and take your social life to the next level.
So now the exercise, I really encourage you to analyze the mindset that you have about people and just write down people are and then you see what comes up.
People are stupid, people are friendly, people are open minded, people are bad.
You just write down and then you ask yourself this question Is the mindset that you have helping you?
If it’s not helping you to meet new people, you can change it.
So you just write down another sentence at the bottom of the page and you write down the new mindset that you want to have.
And then every morning you read it.
And I would like also you to brainstorm five ways that you can add value to people in any social situation.
Is it by telling jokes?
Is it by saying something nice?
Is it by giving a compliment?
What is it?
And then you will see that you really your social skills will go through the roof.
原文解释
下面给出这些词在原文语境中的解释或翻译，让你更好地理解它们在文本中的含义：
- take care
- 字面意思：照顾、关照。
- 在原文中的含义：文中“see everyone as an opportunity not to take care or to take advantage of other people” 指的是“不要为了照顾（或占别人的便宜）而去看待这个机会”。这句话的大致意思是：把他人视作机遇并不是要特意去‘照顾’他们（这里实际上更接近另一种常见用法： “not to take advantage or take care of someone”——“照顾”这里含有“刻意操控或利用”的负面含义），而是保持开放心态，以获得意外的好处或成长。
- self-development
- 含义：自我发展、自我提升/成长、自我完善。
- 在文中的含义：指提升个人各方面能力的过程或领域，如心理、职业、社交技能等。
- idiots
- 含义：傻瓜、蠢人。
- 在文中的含义：如果你认为别人是“傻瓜”，就会产生负面滤镜，导致你与对方相处时只看到对方负面的部分。
- self-fulfilling
- 含义：自我实现的；自我应验的。
- 常见搭配：self-fulfilling prophecy（自我应验预言）。
- 在文中的含义：如果你带着某种先入为主的想法（如“别人都很负面”），你就会用这种眼光去解读别人的行为，最终证实了你最初的偏见。
- prophecy
- 含义：预言、预示。
- 常见用法：self-fulfilling prophecy 指“自我实现的预言”，即当你坚信某事会发生，就会做出让它发生的行为，最后真的印证了最初的预言。
- mindset
- 含义：心态、思维模式、观念模式。
- 在文中的含义：人们在社交或看待他人时的内在态度、观念，决定了交往中如何行动。
- mentality
- 含义：心理、心态、思维方式。
- 在文中的含义：与 mindset 类似，指人在思考或行动背后的一种整体心理倾向或习惯性思维。
- comes up
- 含义：出现；（某个想法或话题）浮现。
- 在文中的含义：作者建议写下“people are…”看脑海中浮现什么观点。例如，“people are unfriendly” 或 “people are nice”等。这些自动蹦出来的词就是“comes up”。
- go through the roof
- 字面含义：穿过屋顶；飞涨；激增。
- 在文中的含义：表示“迅速提升”、“飙升”、“大幅度增长”。文中指社交技能或社交成果会“突飞猛进、大幅提升”。
Takeaway
Key Takeaways – Winning Mindset for Social Success
- View Everyone as an Opportunity
- Not in a manipulative sense, but stay open to the idea that any new person you meet could bring unexpected experiences, advice, or connections.
- You never know when a casual acquaintance could later become a helpful contact or friend.
- Maintain a Positive Mindset Toward People
- If you assume people are unfriendly or “bad,” your interactions tend to confirm that negativity.
- Believing people are generally open and friendly helps you notice—and attract—more positive, genuine connections.
- Adopt a “Value-Giving” Mentality
- Aim to contribute something whenever you meet someone—be it a compliment, helpful information, or simply positive energy.
- This approach makes others feel good around you and deepens your rapport.
- Self-Reflection & Action
- Write down what you truly think about people (“People are…”). Recognize if your current mindset is limiting or negative.
- Decide on a new, more supportive mindset and reinforce it daily.
- Brainstorm practical ways to add value to others (e.g., sharing jokes, introductions, genuine compliments), then apply them in everyday interactions.
Adopting these mindsets—seeing people as opportunities, staying positive, and giving value—will significantly enhance your social success and overall quality of connections.
社交成功的思维要点（中文总结）
- 把每个人都视作机遇
- 不是要占别人便宜，而是保持开放态度，看每次相遇都可能带来意想不到的启发、联系或机会。
- 你永远不知道某个看似普通的认识，后来会不会成为宝贵资源或好友。
- 对人保持积极看法
- 如果你先入为主地认为别人很消极，你在互动时往往只会验证这种负面看法。
- 反过来说，若你相信大多数人都友善、开放，你更能吸引并留意到同样友好、积极的朋友或合作伙伴。
- 培养“提供价值”的心态
- 见面时，不仅仅想着得到什么，更要思考能为对方做些什么。
- 分享信息、给予真诚称赞，或仅仅用正能量感染他人都能创造价值，帮助你与人建立更深的信任和好感。
- 自省与行动
- 问问自己真实的内心观念：“我觉得人都是……？”若发现是消极的，试着将其转变成更支持社交发展的信念，并每天巩固这种新想法。
- 列出至少五种方式来“为别人增值”，例如：分享幽默、乐于介绍人脉、真心赞美等，并在日常场合中加以实践。
当你能将“机遇意识”、“积极心态”与“提供价值”结合起来，你的社交技巧自然会得到极大提升，也会和他人建立更深、更稳固的人际关系。
